Even when they ‘finally get home.’
Who are these fakers? And why can’t they come up with a better hobby? It’s like twitter is a one trick pony lately. Honestly, if you’re like me, you’re so far behind in catching up on all the WFE press that a few days without any Robsten news really won’t send you over the edge at this point.
And truly, can we be too upset about not getting a real 25th bday sighting? Did you see the ElleUK outtakes? Yeah. If you were Rob what would you have asked for, for your birthday? Exactly…. It wouldn’t have involved leaving the house. Just sayin’.
I don’t understand the motivation behind these people who feel the need to make stuff up? Do they just wake up one day and say, ‘I think I’ll pretend I just saw Rob and Kristen!’?
I’ve seen it surmised that they are trying to score more followers? Did I miss the memo that states you should stake your self-worth on how many followers you have on twitter? Have you ever actually clicked on the follower lists of those folks who have 1000+ ‘friends’. Those lists are chock full of religious freaks, pornstar spammers and people trying to convince you to visit their website.
Want more followers? Tweet oh my God! or Sweet Baby Jesus a lot. I always seem to end up with more followers after I amp up the use of those phrases. They attract the ‘Christian Coalition of XXX’ and ‘BigDebbieDoesXXX’ real fast.
Why do these people need more twitter followers anyway? They want more people to care what they just ate for lunch or what made them ‘unf’ or ‘fml’? I think I’d rather only have 10 people who I truly adore and who make me laugh on a daily basis, than 1000 people I barely know RTing my bullshit all day.
I’ve heard the other hypothesis is this is being done by nonstens trying to rally around a dying cause. But honestly, at this point, nonstens are a dying bread that isn’t even worth mentioning because really??? Really??
*Insert eye roll here*
It’s time for them to raise the white flag and surrender. Way past time actually. I see lots of friends in my TL discussing daily the rambling idiocy of the few remaining nonbelievers. But honestly, I can’t even deal with talking about these people for more than 5 seconds because it’s just a level of delusional denial that isn’t worth my time and energy. At this point, I think those people are like the little kid on the playground who is just trying to be obnoxious by saying the opposite of what’s true.
“No! The sky is not blue! It’s green!”
With that kid I find it best to just pat them on the head and let them run off and play with their imaginary friends… that’s how I feel about the nonstens. Just seclude them in their own bubble and ignore them completely. I guess it wouldn’t really surprise me if the fakers all turned out to be members of the retreating nonsten army. Obviously they’re all idiots and these fake sightings are idiocy. So maybe they do go together.
It’s not just the motivation behind these fabrications that gets me riled up. The MO for these ‘sightings’ also has me troubled.
Who are these people and what the hell kinda technology are they sporting?
They all seem to follow the same pattern: Make up sighting. Say OMG a handful of times till someone retweets you. Wait for the chain reaction to occur so people take notice. Then stick it to everyone: ‘Oh! I got pics! Will upload as soon as I get home! Don’t know when that will be though! I’m at my sister’s husband’s mother’s boyfriend’s house right now!’
Mmmmkay. And he doesn’t have a computer?
And what the fuck did they take the picture on anyway? A 1980’s Sony camcorder than they need to take home and put in a converter on their Betamax ? (The 20somethings reading this don’t even know what the hell I just said! Trust us 30somethings you’re glad you missed it.)
Much to Rob and Kristen’s chagrin, this is the ‘AOTCP’: Age Of The Camera Phone. If you really saw someone and were hiding in the bushes, like half of them claim, would you be hoisting a 10 pound camera outta your bag or popping out your iPhone and clicking away while you pretended to be texting?
Exactly. Me too.
And the last time you took a picture of your kids/pet/vacation/bestie/significantothe
It’s called: www.twitpic.com . There’s an App for that! And, it’s easy to use!
Where do these people live? Are we meant to believe they’ve never heard of 3G or Wi-fi? Are they the 2 people left on the planet using dialup? (Again, I just lost the 20somethings with that reference. Trust the 30somethings, you’re really glad you missed out on that. *Shaking myself to get the sound of “wheeeeesh, ding, ding, ding” outta my head*).
Perhaps these fabricators need an example of how a real sighting should sound? So for just a moment I’m gonna close my eyes and be a faker. Here is how I would sound if I really did see Rob and Kristen out walking Bear:
“OMG! Ded! Just saw R&K! She is even more beautiful in person. He is so fucking hawt!”
And now… I do actually understand the delay in pics – but here is the only legitimate and classy reason why:
“Wow, just wow. Got a quick pic, not gonna load till little later. Don’t wanna give away location while they’re still here.”
I should have prefaced my fakery with the caveat: This would never happen to me in real life because in the real world I would be frozen to the spot. My brain would disconnect from my body and I would be way too shy to dive in the bushes and whip out my iPhone. So the moment would pass me by so fast I’d still be left standing there wondering if I just had an out of body experience long after Bear had taken his dump and Rob and Kristen had faded back into the dark ninja hideout from which they came. But the difference between me and the fakers: I would put my big girl panties on and admit it. I wouldn’t fake the picture I didn’t get.
Kristen and Rob’s ability to move about the world in stealth fashion, even when they are being hunted like those poor kids in the Hunger Games, endlessly impresses me. (Come on now – you gotta admit to wondering how the hell she got outta the Caribbean without anyone papping her! Girlfriend should be giving an honorary Bachelor of Science in Stealth.) So maybe I’ve actually been looking at these fakers all wrong? I guess perhaps it is a compliment. Rob and Kristen are so accomplished at not being seen, people have taken to actually making up their outings rather than waiting for the real thing?
I think I’m one of those delusional people who doesn’t need to know what they are doing every damn day. I don’t need proof of their happy. I’ve seen it enough. It’s stored in my head and can be accessed whenever need be during periods of ‘drought’. Not to mention you know we’ve all right-click-saved enough we have hard drives full of ‘happy’…
I don’t know what Toronto holds in store for us this summer. Hopefully, it won’t be as bleak as Baton Rouge. (I remain convinced that the entire state of Louisiana must not have a single AT&T store, because those people all clearly have not entered AotCP with the rest of us! Or maybe they’re all just like me and were rooted to the spot?) But alas, if I have to choses, I’ll take stealthy silence over all these fakers telling us they just got to smoke a cigarette with Kristen in a town she’s not even in, on a street corner she’s never even seen.
So this is my message to all you fakers out there: Go treat yourself to a 3G camera phone. Google the term Wi-fi and then get a life.
Actually. Reverse that order. Just go get a life.
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