Aside from the fact that the background made me think they were eating dinner at a Ponderosa or maybe some kinda Japanese chain restaurant (I bet they like eating at dives better than Nobu and Soho House. Such ninja hobos. And in those cheap Japanese places you always secretly wonder if the guy working the grill will light himself on fire), the picture confirmed something we were all secretly fearing.
No. The hair has not grown back.
In fact, I think it looks like he’s further shaved the little peach fuzz he had working for Betty White at the PCAs.
His forehead actually looks shiny. Truthfully, with the red-eye glare working here I think he looks like a vampire in this picture.
Now you know from my previous post, I don’t fault the man for his decision. Let me reiterate. It’s his hair to do with as he pleases. If his woman digs it… well then the other 3 zillion of us who prefer the wild and unwashed sex hair should just go pound sand.
But, a couple of us were talking the other day about the possibility of, politely of course because we are not obnoxious fangirls, asking Mr. Pattinson to at least produce some kinda hair for us before the BD2 Premiere.
So the solution we came up with: Let’s ask him to just pop on a wig for our 30 second photo-op. After all – you realize nearly every other cast member at some point during filming had to suffer through wearing fake hair. I think it’s only right Rob pay his dues before this whole thing wraps up. I bet it would even bring a smile to Kristen’s face. She likes to poke fun of follicle issues.
- I thought the wig looked fine. But I am biased. I think she could put a brown paper bag on her head and still look cool. Anyone who can rock a bad mullet gets a free pass in my book.
I started pondering this idea further this morning in an effort to stave off actually doing anything productive around my house today. Pffft. MisterPea doesn't need his undies folded that bad.
How much would it be to actually have a lion hair wig made?
If it’s expensive couldn’t we brow beat FF authors into doing yet one more round of ‘Fandom Gives Back Sex Hair’. I bet the total raised would embarrassingly eclipse what we pulled in for the Tsunami and Tornado relief funds.
How does one go about finding fake durhty sex hair? Cue God... Otherwise known as the almighty Google.
I started with ‘Lion Hair Wig’. But alas, this produced things that made me wanna shout ‘Eeeek!’ instead of a h00rish ‘Raaaaawr’.
- Where is the tin man! Where is the tin man!?
- Look! They made a TomStu Wig!
That is some scary ass shit. I’d rather see shiny forehead than defile The Pretty with that. I definitely wouldn’t invite that into my bedroom.
So then, on a lark, I Googled ‘Robert Pattinson Wig’. And fuck me. They make them. In fact, a large variety are readily available. And bonus they aren’t that expensive and they are in stock! (Cue sigh of relief from all the FF authors.)
So cast your votes – which one should we buy?
- LionHair1: The 'Robert Pattinson'
I'm not shitting you. This is the actual description on the website. Click here if you don't believe me: http://www.mypartyplanner.com/products/robert-pattinson-wig.html
Looking to go as the hottest Hollywood hunk this Halloween? Need that missing piece to complete your alluring exterior? Let us shed some "twilight" on your season with this Robert Pattinson Wig!This hip hairpiece features the short, familiar brown locks of our leading lad so you can "eclipse" everyone at any party this Halloween! All the girls will be "dying" to get your autograph when they see you in this heartthrob hairdo!With this Robert Pattinson Wig, you'll live forever with this perfect finishing touch to that celebrity superstar ensemble this Halloween season!This one can be ours for just $19.99. I wonder if it comes with any 'product'? Considering the number of times they use his name, does Rob get a cut of the profits from this thing?
- Lionhair2: "Love at First Bite"
In the twilight hours he will come to steal your heart. Break hearts and win love in this sexy Romeo of the Night
Also $19.99 and in stock.
- LionHair3: "The Edward"
Now. I fail to see how 'Love at First Bite' and 'The Edward' are any different... but the have VASTLY different descriptions!!
Team Jacob? Team Jacob?! Pffft, everyone knows that the real star of the Twilight series is obviously Edward! When you want the Halloween horror look of a romantic vampire rogue, then you want the Edward Twilight Costume Wig! Our Edward Twilight Costume Wig comes with a slight brown pomp, brushed back. This full wig will make women swoon wherever you go, from young girls to distinguished madams! So when you're settled in knowing that Edward is what makes girls hearts flutter with passion, order this wig and be ready for your own Twilight!Seriously?? Perhaps it's time to stop calling ourselves h00rs and start calling ourselves 'distinguished madams.' Doesn't that make it sound like this fandom is a brothel? Don't you like how the website managed to talk some smack to wolfboy?
So not to sway the vote any further. But in addition to the funny-as-hell description, this one can be ours for only $12.95. You read that right. $12.95. I wonder if it's one of those deals where if we call right now they will throw a second one in for free?
Cast your votes ladies. And if anyone is brave enough to preorder and perhaps do a test run on their significant other let us know. Perhaps if I actually go fold Misterpea's laundry he'll be our guniea pig.
<3 twopeas1pod
ps - Dear Rob - Grow your hair back now. We're serious about this wig thing if you don't...
pps - For those of you who are wolfboy fans I'm giving you a lil something as a parting gift:
- The description, funny enough, just says: 'Wolf boy." I mean... what more is there to say really? It can be yours for $16.99. PLENTY in stock.
ppps - (or whatever I'm up to now. I'm long-winded. Sue me.)
Had to throw this one in there. Doesn't this one kinda remind you in an odd way of 'Rome Rob' from back in the Twilight premiere days?? Now THAT was the Age of Lion Hair.
- Rome Rob Wig...For those truly serious about their lionhair.
- Gotta end this post with one pic of the real deal.... raaaawr....
Cast your votes ladies! Order's being placed soon...
This post originally appeared on the Adventures in Twilighting blog. If you're not following the madness there you should be... click here to check it out: http://www.adventuresintwilighting.com/
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