Rob, Another Vagina, & Our Challenge to Be Cooler.

I really don’t wanna comment on the drama that went on in the twifamily yesterday… because I really don’t wanna give it the dignity of the column inches or add to the length of time this annoying conversation persists. But the mommybear in me has come out and I feel the need to unload. I promise I am not going to rehash all the ‘nonnie’ vs ‘the rest of us’ crap… I’m going to make a point… and issue you all a challenge. See if you’re up for it.

In my last musing, I wrote a letter to Kristen with a description of how grown up and cool some of us are. Yeah… this is not helping convince her of that.  Yesterday was just proof positive that she has always been right.  Things are much better when they live like ninjas and perpetuate ‘drought’. Because apparently, we are not mature enough to handle anything else. *That sound you hear is me shaking my head in disgust.*

sorry for the bewbie shot, but you get the point

I have maintained I hope she never gives us anything because as soon as they ‘have’ their happy – they will immediately be trying to prey upon anything they can spin as their sad. The paps and gossip mongers think we have the attention span of a newt… and yesterday might have affirmed that.

I’m not going to even debate here what I think about that picture. Really? Grow up. People go out. People have fun. People even occasionally have fun with members of the opposite sex. *sarcastic gasp*

Is this what things are gonna be like around here for now on? Every time he’s photographed with someone, other than Kristen, who has a vagina we’re gonna have to label him a cheater and start digging into the sanctity of their relationship? Cause if this is how this fandom is gonna roll I’m heading over to hang out with the Trekkies. There’s got to be less drama over there.

Here’s the thing. I want to challenge us. I want us to draw up some ‘post-BD’ ground rules. We are one year out from this all ending. We need to practice now for what it will be like to be fans of these folks in the ‘after-years’.  Part of why we all grotesquely adore Rob and Kristen is because they don’t live their lives like the rest of Hollywood. They break the rules. They don’t set out for the spotlight. They don’t sell things that most other couples would be cashing in on to increase their iMDB ratings and the number of hits they get on Google.

So let’s break the rules with them. Let’s strive to be different and learn from their example. Instead of  engaging in this ridiculous high school discussion, ooohhhing and ahhhhing and making all this white noise every time a picture like this comes out – let’s sit back and stay quiet. Let’s have some faith that they are big boys and girls now and can handle their own business.   

My husband always jokes about what would happen to me if ‘those two broke up.’ He maintains that I would need some sort of counseling because I hold them on a ridiculous pedestal. 

Ok…  He’s probably right…

But in the dark, dark back corner of my mind I realize that they have incredible odds stacked against them. They are very young. We sometimes forget how young they are. And they live in a zip code that isn’t exactly well known for lifelong monogamy. And they are saddled with us. How many couples survive that? Is it even possible?

I really hope so. Because I do not want to be part of an equation that destroys it. Do you? Us sitting on twitter and perpetuating a buzz around photos like that fuels it. It makes the pictures worth more money. It gets the websites that write complete crap more hits. It proves to the predators that pictures of the sad might sell more than the happy.

Don’t let them use us to break them.

What if we followed their example? What if we went against the norms and instead of tearing things down we just stayed quiet? There are going to be more days like yesterday. It’s inevitable. They have friends. They have business. They need to find a ‘post-BD’ life that includes leaving their house.

How will you react? Decide now so you’re prepared.

I am thinking for now on my response will be this: I will quietly, simply tweet my favorite picture of eye sexing. My little drop of water to send out into the world to calm the flame. What if we all sent out one drop? Could we make the flame stop burning altogether?  Could we become their greatest support instead of their greatest obstacle?

Perhaps I have a different perspective of yesterday because I have faithfully been with the same man for 21 years. I know what trust is. I have it. My husband could walk down the street with his arm around another woman and it wouldn’t phase me. He loves me. I know it. He is faithful to me. I never question it. Perhaps there are a lot of people in the world who don’t experience that and think it can’t exist. 

It can.

 I don’t know if it exists for them (we certainly didn’t have it at their age…it forms over time and years and life experience) – but it would be the kind of love I would wish for everyone.  I wish it for them. But you can’t have that kind of relationship without surrounding yourself with people who support it and help you build it up.

Let’s be that.

We can do this.

I know under our 13-year-old tendencies we really are this cool. Let’s prove it to them.

<3-  Twopeas